TOEIC、英検、英会話、英語学習法紹介 ACE

[Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone except Ross is there watching Days of Our Lives.]

Amber : Oh Drake.

Dr. Remorey : I'm sorry Amber. It's just like Brad to have to have the last word.

[Ross enters]

Ross : I'm sorry I'm late, what happened?

Monica : We, we just wanna see the end.

Amber : I want you Drake.

Dr. Remorey : I know you do but you and I can never be together that way.

Amber : What?

Dr. Remorey : There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother.

[Everyone gasps. The show ends.]

Rachel : So what happens next?

Joey : Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed.

Chandler : God that is good TV.

OPENING TITLES
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Chandler : Phoebs, play with meeee.
Phoebe : No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.

Chandler : Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.

Phoebe : Why don't you play with your roommate?

Chandler : Ah he's a, he's not a big fan of foosball.

Phoebe : Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?
「あらら、新入り君とうまくいってないのかな？」

Chandler : No he's, he's alright, just uh, he spends most of his time in his room.
「んー、大丈夫だよ。ただエディーは自分の部屋にいることが多いんだよ。」

Phoebe : Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
「それは親交を深めるように一緒に遊んでないからね。じゃ、さっそく仲良くなろっか。」

Chandler : We don't need to remedy that.

Phoebe : Oh yeah, it'll be fun. [throws a tennis ball at Eddie's bedroom door]

Eddie : What was that?

Phoebe : Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.

Eddie : Yeah alright, that sounds alright.
「あぁ、いいよ。」

Phoebe : Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
「よし、よかった。あ、そうだ…。私用事があったんだ。グリーンエッグとハムの会の集まりに送れちゃう。今夜の議題は何で電車の中で食べないのかよ。じゃ、2人で楽しんでね～。」

Chandler : That was so lame.
「めちゃめちゃうそくさかったぞ。」

Phoebe : I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
「そうね。じゃ、ちゃんと話し合うのよ。　（去る）」

Chandler : So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
「スピードレーサーってさぁ、やっぱスピード違反で捕まりまくりかな？」

[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler and Eddie are talking.]
Eddie : That's good, that's good. So, so, so who broke up with who?
「へぇ、それでそれで？　誰から別れたわけ？」

Chandler : What're you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
「決まってんだろ。俺から別れたよ。だってショーン・ペンがカンボジアの首都だと思ってる女だぜ。」

Eddie : That's good man, when everybody knows that the uh, the capital of Cambodia is uh...
「そうだよなぁ。誰だって知ってることじゃんなぁ、カンボジアの首都と言えば…　（2人とも考えるが分からない）」

Chandler : Well it's not Sean Penn.
「あー、ショーン・ペンじゃねぇ。」

Eddie : Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?

[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is singing. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are listening.]
Phoebe : And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
Richard : Phoebe's got another job, right?

Rachel : Great set tonight Phoebs.

Phoebe : I know.

Ross : Well, we should probably get going.

Richard : Um, we should go too, I got patients at 8 in the moring.

Monica : Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.

Richard : I don't know, I don't have my jammies.

Monica : Well, maybe you don't need them.

Ross : My baby sister, ladies and gentlemen.

Monica : Shut up, I'm happy.

Phoebe : Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.

Richard : Oh, thank you Phoebs. That's very sweet.

Phoebe : Ok.

Richard : Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.

Monica : Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy.

Rachel : Phoebe's dead.

[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]

Tilly : Hi.

Chandler : Hi.

Tilly : I'm looking for Eddie Minowick.

Chandler : Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?

Tilly : Thanks.

Chandler : Oh, oh, c'mon in.

Tilly : I'm Tilly.

Chandler : Oh.

Tilly : I gather by that oh that he told you about me.

Chandler : Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.

Tilly : He's kind of intense huh?

Chandler : Yes. Hey, can I ask you, is Eddie a little...

Eddie : [walks around corner] A little what?

Chandler : Bit country? C'mon in here you roomie.

Eddie : Hello Tilly.
「やぁ、ティリー。」

Tilly : Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
「エディー、私はただ水槽を届けに来ただけよ。」

Eddie : That's very thoughtful of you. It's very thougtful.
「そりゃご親切にどうも。そりゃご親切だねぇ。」

Tilly : Well, ok then. I'm gonna go. Bye.
「さーてっと。じゃ私は帰るわね。じゃあね。」

Eddie : Bye-bye.
「じゃあな。」

Chandler : Bye.
「ばいばーい。」

[Tilly leaves]
ティリーが去る

Chandler : So, we gettin' a fish?
「へぇ、魚でも飼うのかい？」

Eddie : You had sex with her didn't you?
「お前、あいつとやっただろ？」

[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
Joey : Phoebs, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out.
Phoebe : Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests.

Joey : Page 42, page 42, page 42.

Phoebe : Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture.

Joey : Ooh, I look good.

Phoebe : Hey is this true, that you write a lot of your own lines?

Joey : Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'

Phoebe : Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?

Joey : Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?

[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
Writer : Makes up most of his lines. Son-of-a-. Yeah, well, write this jerkweed.

[Scene: Joey's apartment. The next script is being delivered.]
Joey : I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
Delivery guy : Uhh, I don't know, I just bring the scripts.

Joey : They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.

Delivery guy : Right. Could you sign this?

Joey : No. No way, I'm not signing that.

Delivery guy : I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show.

Joey : How can they do this to me?

Delivery guy : Er, uh, I'm just gonna go. Sorry.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
Monica : Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
Rachel : Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.

Ross : G'night.

Richard : Night Richard. Good luck Mon.

Monica : Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with.

Richard : Two.

Monica : Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?

Richard : Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.

Monica : Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]

Richard : Woah, woah, no wait a minute now. C'mon it's your turn. Oh c'mon. Ya know, I don't need the actual number, just a ballpark.

Monica : Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.

[Rachel's bedroom]

Rachel : Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.

Ross : Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?

Rachel : Uhhhooo.

Ross : C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.

Rachel : Well, there's you.

Ross : Better not be doin' these in order.

Rachel : Ok, uh, Billy Dreskin, Pete Carney, Barry, and uh, oh, Paolo.

Ross : Oh yes, the weenie from Torrini.

Rachel : Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, c'mon, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him.

Ross : Really?

Rachel : Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head.

[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.]
Chandler : Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend.
Eddie : That's very interesting, ya know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say.

Chandler : This is nuts. This is crazy. She came over for like two minutes, dropped off a fish tank, and left, end of story.

Eddie : Where's Buddy?

Chandler : Buddy?

Eddie : My fish, Buddy.

Chandler : There was no fish when she dropped it off.

Eddie : Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?

Chandler : Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in Monica's bedroom.]
Richard : That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Monica : Well yeah.

Richard : Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.

Monica : You really ok with it?

Richard : Oh honey, I'm fine.

Monica : Oh, yay. Ok about that two.

Richard : What? Alright, what about my two?

Monica : Well, it just seems like a really small number.

Richard : Right, and...

Monica : And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?

Richard : Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.

Monica : But you've only slept with two people.

Richard : Right.

Monica : Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.

Richard : Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]

[Ross and Rachel are in Rachel's bedroom]

Rachel : Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.

Ross : Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea, why don't you invite Paulo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.

Rachel : God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...

Ross : Animal sex, animal sex? So what're you saying, I mean, you're saying that like, there's nothing between us animal at all. I mean there's not even like, uhm, a little animal, not even, not even like, like chipmunk sex?

Rachel : Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.

Ross : Knock-knock.

Rachel : But, what you and I have is so much better. Ok, we have tenderness, we have intimacy, we connect. Ya know, I swear, this is the best I have ever had.

Ross : Until now. [jumps on Rachel on the bed]

[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]

Rachel : Oh, hi.

Monica : Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.

Rachel : Oh my God, honey that's great.

Monica : I know. I just can't find...

Rachel : Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.

Monica : You need one too?

Rachel : Ooooh yeah.

[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]

Monica : There's only one.

Richard : Monica.

Monica : Hi. Uh, we'll be right there, we're just trying to decide something. [shuts the bathroom door]

Ross : [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.

Richard : Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.

Ross : Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?

Richard : No.

Ross : Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat?

Richard : I have a little comb.

Ross : Oh. And what do you call that?

Richard : A moustache comb.

Rachel : Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.

Monica : No.

Rachel : Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months.

Monica : Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.

Rachel : Agghhh.

Ross : So were you in Nam?

Rachel : Rock-paper-scissors?

Monica : Yeah.

Rachel and Monica : One two three. [Rachel picks rock, Monica picks scissors]

Rachel : Yeesss.

Monica : Fine, go have sex.

Richard : No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.

Ross : No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...

Rachel : Honey.

Ross : What, what oh....[Ross and Rachel go into her room]

Richard : Shall we?

Monica : It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.

Richard : Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. All but Joey are present.]

Chandler : So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
「朝起きたら、俺の靴の中敷が全部あいつに盗まれてたんだよ。」

Monica : Why?
「何で？」

Chandler : Because he thinks I slept with his ex-girlfriend and killed his fish.
「あいつ俺があいつの元彼女と寝て、魚殺したと思ってんだ。」

Phoebe : Why would you kill his fish?
「何で彼の魚殺しちゃうわけ？」

Chandler : Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
「あのねフィービー。誰かと寝るとさ、魚を殺さなきゃなることもあるんだよ。」

Rachel : Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
「チャンドラー、大変ね。ねぇ、ジョーイの番組見ようよー。（誰かがテレビをつける）」

Ross : Yeah.
「あぁ。」

Monica : Wait, he's not here yet.
「でもまだジョーイが来てないって。」

Rachel : So, he's on the show, he knows what happens.
「いいじゃん。自分が出演してるんだからどうなるか知ってるんだし。」

Ross : Yeah.
「あぁ。」

Monica : Alright.
「そうね。」

Chandler : Oh, I'm fine about my problem now, by the way.
「ところで俺の問題はもう解決したからねぇ。」

Rachel : Oh good.
「あっそ、よかったじゃん。」

Dr. Remorey : Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
「アンバー、俺はいつでも君をサポートするよ。友達として、そして兄弟として。」

Amber : Oh Drake.
「ドレイク…。」

Dr. Horton : Hard day huh? First the medical award, this.
「大変な1日だったよなぁ。医学の賞をもらって、そしてこれだもん。」

Dr. Remorey : Some guys are just lucky I guess.
「あぁ、幸運なだけじゃないよな。」

Intercom : Dr. Remore, report to first floor emergency, stat.
「ラモーレ先生、1階まで直ちにお越しください。」

Dr. Remorey : Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
「じゃあ…、呼ばれたから…。誰か一緒にエレベーター乗らない？　ホートン先生？　ウォング先生？」

Dr. Horton : No, no, they only said you.
「いやいや、呼ばれたのは君だけだよ。」

Dr. Remorey : Oh, ok. Alright.
「そっ、そっか。しょうがないな。」

Amber : I love you Drake.
「ドレイク、愛してるわ。」

Dr. Remorey : Yeah, whatever. Oh no.
「あっそ。う、うわ。」

Amber : Drake, look out.
「ドレイク！　危ない！」

Dr. Remorey : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
「あーーーーーーーー！」

Monica : Did they just kill off Joey?
「えー、ジョーイ死んじゃうわけ？」

Ross : No. [sound of Dr. Remore's body hitting the bottom of the shaft] Now maybe.
「まさか。（ドクター・ラモーレがエレベーターに落下した音が聞こえる）　んー、今死んじゃったかも。」

[Scene: Joey's apartment. Everyone is outside knocking.]

Ross : C'mon.
「ジョーイ！」

Rachel : Joey.
「ジョーイ！」

Ross : Open up. We want to talk to you.
「開けてくれよ。話がしたいんだ。」

Joey : I don't feel like talkin.
「話なんかする気分じゃない！」

Rachel : Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you.
「ジョーイ、私たちはジョーイのことを思ってるの。」

Chandler : We're worried about you.
「心配なんだよ。」

Monica : And some of us really have to pee.
「おしっこしたいし！」

[Joey opens the door]

Monica : Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]

Joey : Hey.

Phoebe : Listen, sorry about your death, that really sucks.
「ほんとドレイクが死んじゃうなんて残念ね。ほんとにサイテーだわ。」

Chandler : We came over as soon as we saw.
「あの場面見てからすぐに来たよ。」

Ross : How could you not tell us?
「何で僕らに言わなかったんだ？」

Joey : I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out.
「分かんない。誰も気づかなきゃいいなって思ってたのかも。」

Rachel : Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
「きっと生き返るシナリオ用意してくれるよ。」

Joey : Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
「無理だよ。俺の脳はめちゃめちゃになっちゃって、俺を救えるのは俺だけだってさ。なんか皮肉かなんかだってよ。」

Phoebe : But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
「でも、ジョーイ。大丈夫よ。あんな番組どうでもいいじゃん。ただのアホな昼メロよ。」

Joey : Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
「フィービー、あの番組は俺の人生の中で最高のときだったんだよ。」

Phoebe : Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
「そうよね。私もそう言おうと思ってた！　（モニカがトイレから出てくる）　あ、モニカよ。きっと何かいいこと言ってくれるわ。」

Monica : Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
「あー、シャワーカーテンを調えといたわ。カビが生えないようにね。（みんなは何言ってんの？という表情）　何よ？　私にはいいことよ！」

Chandler : It's gonna be ok. You know that?
「きっと大丈夫だって。自分でもそう思うだろ？」

Joey : No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
「思うわけないだろ。何かのために一生懸命やってきてさ。その目標を成し遂げたとき、思ったほどすごいもんでもないなって思うときあるだろ？　でもあの番組はほんとにすごかったんだ。あのおかげですべてが変わったんだよ。この前なんか、クレジットカードの申し込みでさ、俺が仮承認されたんだよ。俺が何かで仮承認されるなんて初めてのことだったんだよ。」

Chandler : I'm sorry man.
「残念だよな。」

Rachel : Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
「ジョーイさ。あなたにとってはどうでもいいかもしれないけど、あなたはいつ　も私たちには仮承認されてるわ。」

Joey : No, that means nothin to me.
「んー、どうでもいいね。」

[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
Chandler : Uhhhaahh.
「うわー。」

Eddie : Pecan sandy, just made em.
「ペカンサンディーだぜ。できたてさ。（妙な食べ物を渡す）」

Chandler : Yeah alright. What're these, raisins?
「あぁ、これなに？　レーズンか？」

Eddie : Uh, sure, why not.
「んー、そうだな。そうなんだろう。」

Chandler : [throws it across the room while Eddie's not looking] Listen Eddie, um, I've been thinking about our current living situation and uh, why are you smiling?
「（エディーがくれた妙な食べ物をエディーが見ていないすきに投げ捨てる）　あのなぁエディー、ここ最近の俺らの生活を考えてたんだけどな…、ん？　何で笑ってるんだ？」

Eddie : I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
「いい知らせがあるぜ。ほら。新しい魚だよ。チャンドラーって名づけたんだ。　ほら、君から名前をもらったんだよ。（水槽に魚の形をしたお菓子が入っている）」

Chandler : [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
「あー、本物の魚じゃないんだけど…。金魚のクラッカーだぜ。」

Eddie : What's you point man?
「何が言いたいんだ？」

Chandler : Ok, good night. [walks towards his room] You big freak of nature.
「あっそ。お休み。（自分の部屋に向かいながら小声で）このイカレヤロウ。」

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Closing Credits
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
Ross : Hey.

Richard : Hey.

Ross : Hey.

Richard : Ohh, brisk tonight.

Ross : Oh man.

Richard : Let's never speak of this.

Ross : You got it.